Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My breasts were aching with rage.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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