my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
