But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i believe in u and ur pee
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
