Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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