i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
