Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
