Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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