I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
