i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
