Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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