i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
