So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
it's like heaven, but drunker
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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