Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
