If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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