dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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