Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
