They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Naked. naked and bneed help.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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