hell yes lets make some ravioli
People in love make me want to vomit
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Boobs are out for the taking
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Enjoy the penises
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
