Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
