My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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