So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
