jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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