I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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