Me too!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
