Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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