You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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