Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
