I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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