Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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