New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
