how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
