can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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