I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
