Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
