we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
