a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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