when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
