You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
