I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
