Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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