Already got asked if we're dating
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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