If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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