Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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