He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
