You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
