Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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