spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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