The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
