i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
