The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
