i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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