I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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