**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
